The French and Indian War Rap

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Shortly before the Independence Declaration Back when America wasn’t yet its own nation Two colonial powers fought for territory In the year of our lord, the 18th century The French were frontin’ about their furs And were also really tired of anti-french slurs They teamed with the Red Man in ’54 AND SO BEGAN THE FRENCH AND INDIAN WAR! The British and French had been fighting seven years They got tired of France so they brought the fight here So they all arrived from western Europe A land where they have no maple syrup AT ALL! Washington led his dawgs to victory Then took em back to Fort Necessity There they rested and acted all lazy The French busted in and the shit went crazy The British were pissed cause the Reds missed their rent So they paid them back, here’s how it went I’m so sick I’m not gonna make it I’ve got smallpox- -Here take this blanket! Now let me tell you about variola Oops one second, I need a sip of cola. Mmm that was good, now back to the lesson With smallpox virus you shouldn’t be messin’ If you like to vomit, then smallpox is for you It also causes a pustular rash too If you get small pox, like me Your chances of dieing are one in three The British were outnumbered 2 to 1 Washington bounced, that ain’t no fun He got canned a little later on And then was replaced by the guy from Tron They took Ticonderoga a few weeks later They did it with the help of the Terminator Cyborg robots all around Indian bodies hit the ground The Indian forces began to fade

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